


The Road Back

by StarryEyes2000



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26795065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryEyes2000/pseuds/StarryEyes2000
Summary: A story about the aftermath of Talos IV for Captain Pike. How his experiences on Talos IV impact future relationships. Takes place on Enterprise. Includes cameos from Discovery characters.
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Original Female Character
Kudos: 9





	1. The Misunderstanding and Team Christopher

Dr. Phil Boyce walked into the ready room, unannounced, questioning even before the door closed. “Well?”

“Well what?” Christopher Pike answered with his own question, not bothering to look up and continuing to read.

“Last night.” Phil responded as he sat down in the nearest chair.

“Still analyzing.”

Phil creased his brow and narrowed his eyes. “Analyzing? That’s an odd word to use. You know it is possible to overthink.”

Chris continued speed reading through yesterday’s reports. “That’s highly unlikely.”

“You don’t appear to be rested. Or relaxed.”

“I _was_ up most of the night.” Chris responded absentmindedly. A rant from Phil in the morning over a random, inconsequential thing was not unusual and seldom required Chris’ full attention.

“ _Exactly_.” Phil said with a knowing look, emphasizing his point.

_How does he know?_ Chris thought. “There was … I had a problem …” he started to explain.

Phil interrupted. “What? But you both seemed ready …” Realization dawned. “Oh … OH … _I see_.” He paused and then added, sounding sympathetic, “That explains your bad mood.”

Chris shrugged. “I guess.”

“And I know this sounds like a cliché, but it happens to all of us at some point.” Phil said, now using his soothing bedside manner voice.

“I realize.”

Phil wondered if Chris was really keeping this incident in perspective or acting nonchalant to downplay it. The doctor suspected the latter. He knew of no physical reason that would cause an inability for the Captain to be intimate. After Talos IV he expected Chris would push away intimacy, maybe even find it awkward at times. But this was a much stronger reaction than he anticipated. And like it or not, Chris needed to deal with it _right now_. “We ought to, at the very least, talk about this.”

After calling the bridge to relay new orders, Chris started reviewing message traffic from overnight, “I’m busy this morning, can this wait?”

“No, it can’t. You should come to Sickbay.”

That caught Chris’ attention. He stopped reading and looked up. “What? I wasn’t aware the problem extended to Sickbay. Was anything damaged?”

Phil, his attention elsewhere, missed the reference to Sickbay but heard damaged. He kept his tone calm and professional as he continued, “Permanent damage is unlikely. And can be ruled out with a few simple tests …”

Satisfied, Chris went back to reading the message traffic. “Good. Let me know if you find any.”

“If needed there are drugs …”

Chris looked up again. “ _What are you talking about?”_ He asked louder and more forcefully than he intended.

“The same as you – what happened last night. I saw the two of you go into your quarters hand in hand. What are _you_ talking about?”

“The cascading power failure that started after a photon torpedo armed itself in the bay.”

“Oh … OH …” Phil grinned. “That’s good, I mean not that a torpedo almost exploded, but that it wasn’t a … a more personal … failure. You know, these misunderstandings could be avoided if you gave me your undivided attention.”

“I don’t have that kind of time.” Chris then took this opportunity to point out. “And for the record that _personal failure_ has _never_ happened to me. You have my full attention now, why are you here and not plaguing someone else?

“A gentleman doesn’t ask.”

Chris snorted and shook his head, laughing. “Evidently they do if the definition of gentleman is expanded to include you. And a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“So, there was kissing. Did you snog?

“Snog? Are you sixteen?”

Phil looked amused, “I believe you are protesting too much. And sixteen is a fine age.”

“How could you possibly … do you monitor the corridors?”

“Only outside your quarters. Otherwise I’d never be up to date on anything important.” Phil deadpanned. “Actually, I was leaving my quarters just as you entered, but your attention, shall we say, was elsewhere. Now you are deflecting.”

Chris, still lost in his own thoughts mumbled, mostly to himself, “Did anyone else see us?”

“Ah, yes.” Phil broke the news, “Sorry. At least someone saw her, this morning, in the turbolift near the command deck. The blanks got filled in from there.”

“I knew this was a bad idea …” Chris started.

“No, it wasn’t.” Phil replied softly.

“Yes, it was. It’s better confined to off-ship.”

“We are in the middle of deep space, were you going to keep dancing around each other for 12 months?”

“Maybe. No. I mean … I wouldn’t expect her to wait for me.” Chris stopped and redirected the conversation before he shared too much and regretted it. “We’ve strayed from the point. Which was, it’s unfair to her.”

“Chris, do you really believe waiting until you were off-ship would stop rumors? You are the captain of the flagship; people notice what you do.” Phil shook his head, “You are naïve at times. And the rumors aren’t gossip. Well ok, yes it’s gossip, we are in deep space after all and need entertainment, but it’s not malicious. The crew is pleased. They want you to be happy. To enjoy the same privileges they do.”

Continuing with the conversation in his head rather than hearing his friend Chris said, “No. I meant I should only get involved with … never mind.” He stood, preparing to go to the bridge. “Nothing happened. I was called to the torpedo bay, then engineering and the bridge. By the time I got back to my quarters it was 4:00am and she was asleep. I chose not to wake her.” _And nothing is going to happen, I’m stopping it now, I realized last night I am not ready._ He added to himself.

But Phil heard the words in the silence. “OK. I get it.” Left alone, the doctor stayed in the ready room, sorting through the conversation and his own thoughts. Wanting to act before his friend let something that could be lasting and precious slip away. As Phil suspected, Chris had not fully healed from his experiences on Talos IV. The Captain was already slow and cautious about relationships before that incident. Or so Phil assumed, as he realized, thinking back, that Chris rarely talked about his personal life. Being a long-time romantic Phil freely and, according to Chris, often gave advice on the subject. To which Chris responded with just enough details to be polite but never revealed much.

And then a wonderfully mischievous thought occurred to him and he smiled – no grinned – ear to ear. He was the CMO, it was his responsibility to ensure Chris was not only sound physically, but emotionally as well. Starfleet was practically ordering him to play matchmaker! For Chris’ own welfare of course. Phil knew he needed help – and chose Una, Spock and Kat Cornwall. Maybe also Louvier, as his reputation as a ‘ladies’ man’ was legendary. Perhaps Captain Georgiou knew Chris before Enterprise and could fill in previous details. Yes, they would be Team … he’d get Una to come up with a name, she was good at that. And they needed t-shirts and hats. He would have Spock work on that, after explaining to the young Vulcan the significance of team spirit and how it is symbolized with matching clothing which can only be worn in secret to team meetings.

And he would get Matt, his head nurse involved. Matt was another romantic and together he and the CMO were responsible for bringing together several happy couples. A full-blooded Betazoid, Matt had another unique skill that might prove useful. A skill he never used without prior permission. But they were treating a patient and … when a patient was involved there were exceptions to those rules.

Satisfied with his plan and pleased with himself, Phil left to find Commander Una. His first order of business was to find out if Chris was _truly_ needed on the bridge all night or if the incident was an excuse to avoid what he had started.


	2. How Can I Be Sure?

Chris was on his way to Engineering when Una joined him in the turbolift. Once the doors closed, she smirked at him and said “Finally.”

He sighed. It was going to be a long day. And then explained, “Nothing happened, I was on the bridge all night – remember – bad torpedo – power failures …”

“That’s … disappointing.” Then Una reminded him, “You were on the bridge _most_ of the night and were _needed_ only for an hour.”

“I was monitoring the situation and thought it necessary to be present until we understood why the torpedo armed itself.”

“Umm, well that is logical since only the bridge is equipped with communication devices. Maybe one should be added to the Captain’s quarters during the next refit.”

Chris tried to remember why he chose a first officer who merged Vulcan logic with Human sarcasm. “You are saying I am superfluous?”

“Of course not,” Una said her voice and expression serious. “Sometimes Phil, Chief Louvier and I need the _authority figure_.” She paused and tilted her head as if thinking. “Though the need is rare.”

Una was pleased to see Chris’ faint smile as he exited the lift. Phil asked her to try to lift the Captain’s mood. _Mission accomplished Doctor_ , she thought. _And it’s confirmed, he used the situation to deliberately ensure nothing happened._

ooooo

Engineering was controlled chaos. Which was a good sign, things were back to normal. The Chief Engineer was standing in the middle of a circle of junior engineers, all talking at once. Chris waited before walking over to get an update until Louvier responded to each one individually and they dispersed to carry out their tasks.

“Ah Captain, good morning. All repairs are complete. We’re operating with a skeleton crew here - I dismissed the others to rest.”

“What happened?”

“A circuit, installed incorrectly, malfunctioned and sent a signal to immediately arm the torpedo with the safety off. We inspected the remaining units. There were no additional problems.”

“And the power failure?”

“A mistake made by a security officer and engineer who responded to the alert. Isak and I have addressed the issue. We will be recommending a new drill to train for this scenario.”

“Very well. Work with Una on the drill, the bridge’s response was slow. You should follow your own orders and get some rest.”

“Soon Captain, soon. I have a few more things to attend to and a meeting later. Step into my office for a moment?”

After closing the door Chris, sure where this was heading, blurted out, “Despite what you have heard, nothing happened.”

Louvier, pretending to be uninformed and confused, replied. “Excuse me sir? I wanted to talk about the upcoming crew evaluations.”

“Oh. I mean … never mind.”

“Though if I have inferred correctly, that is unfortunate. She is une belle femme and charmant. Or to use your inadequate, unpoetic Federation Standard – a beautiful, charming woman.”

“Rene,” Chris warned, “you are speaking about a fellow crew member.”

“With respect – and truth. Truth is always respectful, is it not? Do you disagree?”

Chris sensed a trap and decided a straightforward answer was best. “No.”

“Then your choice is simple.”

_Not at all_ , Chris thought and said as he left, “We’ll start the evaluations next week.”

Rene smiled. He could report his mission accomplished at tonight’s meeting.

ooooo

Satisfied last night’s failures were meticulously analyzed, understood and corrected, Chris spent the rest of the day in his ready room. It was a rare quiet day, with no interruptions. Whether this was intentional or chance, he didn’t care. Well, he admitted, he probably should be curious, Phil was undoubtedly planning mischief – which would inevitably cause havoc and bite him in the ass. But he needed the solitary time to think.

His thoughts were randomly spinning.

What type of books was Phil reading to be using ‘snog’ in everyday conversation? To continue the teenage metaphor, he made it to second base before the ship abruptly went to yellow alert. That interruption saved him from continuing down a path that would have ended badly.

With little else other than routine space flight to hold the crew’s attention, the rumors had circulated throughout the ship. And to make matters worse, the rumors weren’t true. Where was a uniquely interesting stellar nursery or hostile alien species when you needed them?

Una and Rene were probing for information. Rene more subtly than Una, but indirect was seldom her way. At least Spock would not offer unsolicited advice.

He no longer remembered when he and Aalin fell into the rhythm of meeting every night to chat. Or the point when missing that time with her made his day feel incomplete. When he started looking forward to seeing her smile and hearing her laugh.

Alright Christopher, you are stalling. Time to be honest.

What the hell were you thinking?

You weren’t ready. You may never be. This is unfair. You can’t expect her to wait endlessly for you to decide if you can trust her, if you can trust yourself ever again.

How do you fix this without losing the friendship? Is friendship all you are capable of now?

It was … nice … having someone waiting for him to return. And, he admitted, a relief he had a plausible reason to avoid more. Intimacy required trust and faith and hope. He had lost all three on Talos IV when they tricked him and forced him to respond.

And given those realities, why did he coax her off the sofa where she was sleeping and bundle them into bed together? Yet for those two brief hours, with nothing demanded of him, he felt … as if one of the broken pieces settled back into place.

Chris didn’t remember murmuring as he fell asleep in her arms, “I think I’m in love with you. But how can I be certain it’s real?”


	3. Is There a Way Back?

**Is There a Way Back?**

Intently arranging symbols for notes on a three-dimension diagram of music staffs spanning half the room, Aalin didn’t look up when the door to the lab opened and closed. “I didn’t think you were coming back, but Spock, this book isn’t a Rosetta stone, I think it’s an epic poem, like The Odyssey. It has rhythm and cadence.” Not waiting for an answer, she continued, clearly excited. “There are patterns we missed. They are not always repeated verbatim, but rather reoccur in various ways, like a melody that is harmonized differently, transposed, embellished, moved to a different key, played on a different instrument. With a complexity worthy of Mozart. I think I have isolated three unique ‘melodies’ so far and I am plotting their related constructs. With those examples I can start programming a translation matrix …” She looked up for a moment. “Oh, Captain, sorry. Computer pause music.” She smiled, “Hey.”

_He looks surprised … no uncomfortable … to see me here._ Aalin thought. _But I must be imagining it._ “Number One assigned me to help Spock with the records from the second planet in the NV-0809 system.”

“The universal translator can’t handle it?” Pike asked.

“Its translations are less accurate, or in this case nonexistent, without the corresponding neurological data it monitors when someone is speaking. The universal translator works best with a written language when it has a programmed matrix to draw from. Or at least start from.” He walked around the room, examining the diagrams. “It looks like you have turned the book into a song.”

“The song was already there, I guess you could say I am rewriting the book in standard western musical notation …” She noted the dark circles under his eyes and his tired expression. “None of which is important after a long night and, I assume, a long day.”

“The computer was playing Beethoven?”

“Bach.”

“That was a violin?”

“Cello.”

“Played by Perlman?”

“Yo-Yo Ma. A 20th century master.”

“So, I got it all wrong.”

She smiled again, “It’s all the in same ballpark, you are improving.”

They spoke simultaneously, “I’m glad to see you.” Aalin said. “I needed to ask Spock …” Pike started.

She caught up and felt disappointed as she thought. _You weren’t looking me._ “Spock left an hour ago muttering something about forgetting the hats, but I probably misunderstood. Do you want me to page him?”

“No, it’s not urgent.” Pike answered and then stopped. The awkward feeling in the room increased as the silence lengthened.

“I’m sorry about last night …” Pike began.

“You mean for keeping the ship from exploding? I am good with that.” Aalin teased trying to lighten the mood. When that failed, she switched to a more soothing response. “Chris, I understand. The ship needs its Captain - often unexpectedly and at odd hours.”

“And I am sorry about the rumors. I wish that … it’s unfair. They should be talking about me not you.”

Aalin shrugged. “It’s harmless. Often amusing. Definitely embellished.” That earned her the ‘Captain Pike Is Not Pleased’ stare.

She walked over to him and rested her hand on his arm. He quickly and deftly moved to the side to end the contact. This was odd behavior, uncomfortable with himself and her. She wanted to ask why he was avoiding her but everything about his stance, his movement in the room, his body language shouted he felt confined, maybe even caged.

“Truly, the gossip, the rumors, they don’t bother me. You’re their respected Captain,” she didn’t include beloved to avoid adding to his discomfort, “and I am relatively new and unknown. It’s only natural they are going to … exchange information about me. And it will be old news in a couple of days.”

He relaxed a little. “How do you separate it? The actual from the gossip. The truth from the embellishment. The illusion from reality?

His point escaped her, but she admitted to herself she was also tired. So, she focused on one concrete point, “As long as we know the truth why does another’s embellishment matter?”

Looking sad he responded, “It matters. Embellishment, the illusion it creates, or any illusion destroys our touchstone to reality. Then we lose ourselves. And perhaps there is no way back.”

“I want to believe there is always a way back.” Aalin said, hoping the words gave him reassurance.

His voice dropped to a whisper. “As do I, but I doubt it.” Both were hesitant to break the silence this time. At last Pike straightened his shoulders and said in his normal tone, “I’m late for a briefing.” He smiled trying to alleviate the concern he saw in her expression. “And tired, you are right, it was been a long day and then some. We’ll talk tomorrow?”

“Of course.” As he left, she called after him. “Chris is there anything I can do for you?”

“No.” He replied simply as the doors shut.

ooooo

**Team Christopher Headquarters aka Phil’s Boyce’s Quarters**

Phil pulled Una aside and asked softly, “Really, Team Christopher? I came up with that. I expected something cleverer from you.”

Narrowing her eyes Una replied, “I’ve been a little busy today dealing with the aftermath of last night’s problems and gathering information covertly. And ‘Team Get the Captain Laid’ doesn’t fit on the hat.”

“Well that’s not very accurate is it? We’re not trying to get the Captain laid a few times, we are going to arrange a life-time sure thing.” Phil scolded her.

Spock, whose sensitive hearing was impossible to escape, asked as he put on his baseball cap. “Get the Captain laid? Is he unable to recline on his own? What sure thing is he lacking?”

Una rolled her eyes. _What could possibly go wrong?_

Phil shook his head and chuckled. At both Spock’s comment and the sight of their Vulcan science officer, standing erect, wearing a baseball cap, his elfin ears prominent. “Let’s get started. Una, how long will the briefing last that you arranged to keep the Captain off the command deck and away from his quarters?”

“At least a couple of hours. Isak is in the loop and will wait for my signal.”

“Excellent. Our mission, and I have already accepted it for you, is to guide the Captain along in his relationship with Aalin. And by guide, I mean they will live together happily ever after. Failure is not an option.”

Matt raised his hand. “How many trite movie, television and fairy tale lines can we expect tonight Phil?”

“I’m just getting warmed up.”

“That is what I was afraid of.” Matt countered.

Spock raised his hand.

“Yes?” asked Phil.

“Why did Lieutenant Zali raise his hand?”

“To request permission to speak. But mostly to annoy me.” Phil answered.

Spock looked thoughtful. “An excellent system. Logical and orderly – requesting permission to speak via a clearly delineated yet silent physical signal. I cannot offer an opinion as to whether it is also an excellent way to annoy you Doctor. I will suggest this system to the Captain for use on the bridge.”

“Please make I am there when you do.” Phil said trying not to laugh and looking forward to the Captain’s reaction.

“Another good suggestion Doctor, as you are well-versed in the system’s advantages and can answer the Captain’s questions.”

“I think we have drifted off topic.” Rene Louvier pointed out.

“Indeed. Under the best of circumstances, Christopher Pike is slower than a meandering snail when it comes to romantic relationships. These are not the best of circumstances. Talos IV haunts him.” Phil explained.

That sobered the group. An Admiral had remarked during the debrief after the Talos mission that it was a relatively benign experience. They had escaped. Their memories were intact. There was no lasting physical damage. Una would have throttled the superior officer if Pike had not stopped her. Words were inadequate to describe the magnitude of the violations they suffered. Most of which were inflicted on the Captain.

“Is this a line we shouldn’t cross? We may cause more harm.” Una asked, looking worried and sounding unusually hesitant.

“Commander, you speak as if our intervention in the situation is ill-advised or perhaps even wrong. On Vulcan your mate is chosen by family elders. This is because the choice is of such importance it cannot be only in the hands of those who will be bonded. They may be swayed by … less logical concerns. When there is no family to take the responsibility for the selection and joining, friends and colleagues are expected to step in. As the Captain’s colleagues, friends and on-board family, it is our duty to see to his well-being in this matter. Especially as he cannot.” Spock’s answer surprised the group. They thought he might consider their efforts an intrusion into the Captain’s privacy.

Spock’s view decided the group. The rest of the time was spent making plans and handing out assignments.

“And I will continue dispensing invaluable relationship advice to him.” Phil announced concluding the meeting.


End file.
